mydogsnokes:

i’ll take my chance with aliens before i mess w/ whatever is at the bottom of the ocean

artemisfowlstolemysoul:

unclefather:

i don’t read “uwu” as a smiley face in my head i read it as “ooo woo”

omg i thought i was the only one

fluent-in-lesbianism:

bellezza98ceilo:

space-sailor:

pinkkryptonite:

fluent-in-lesbianism:

MY MOM JUST TOLD ME TO CREMATE HER AND PUT HER ASHES IN AN HOUR GLASS SO THAT EVEN AFTER SHE’S DEAD AND GONE SHE CAN CONTINUE TELLING ME HOW MUCH TIME I’M WASTING ON THIS SITE.

daaaang lol

sooo you both get burned in the end

you did NOT
you just

HOW DARE YOU SPEAK OF MY MOTHER IN THAT TONE OF PUN

ellierose101:

striderkid:

dokidoki-artichokee:

hamburgurl:

1 universe, 9 planets, 7 seas, 7 continents, 809 islands, 204 countries, and I had the unfortunate luck of meeting u

THERE ARE 8 PLANETS, YOU UNCULTURED SWINE.

VIVA LA PLUTO FUCK YOU

I’m pretty sure “Viva la Pluto fuck you” is the best sentence I’ve heard all week. 

(Source: hashtaglmao)

  • what she says: you can touch my hair if you want
  • what she means: please for the love of god play with my hair feel how soft it is i will roll over into your lap like a kitten

amortizing:

2014 is half over and

  • -i lost no weight
  • -didn’t learn anything
  • -haven’t made an effort to save money
  • -still ugly

amoying:

im always suspicious of anyone that finds me attractive